My friend made me this scrapbook a long time ago and she photocopied letters I wrote to her during college. I was looking through it and I found a segment of a letter that goes along with the two D.L. letters previously posted.
So, I finally talked to D. It wasn't a pretty sight. He begged me not to break up with him. I told him that was ridiculous because we have NOTHING in common. And I told him just about everything I didn't like about him. Everything except the fact that he was a little too feminine!
That was it. I guess I was mean or fickle?! The truth is, one of the big reasons I dumped this guy is because we dated for 4 months and he never took me to meet his mother! She just lived a town over...in fact, HE LIVED WITH HER! He obviously didn't like me that much! He had met my parents twice and they lived an hour away.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Sometime in the early 90's
I could not think WHO this was from, even though it is signed. I didn't remember anyone by the name. I talked it over with Melanie & she reminded me it is from a guy a never dated or even liked. I once yelled at him for following me around, for a couple of hours at work, and he passed out!
Delilah,
Please don't throw this away without reading it. It will probably b the last time you hear from me. What went wrong between us? The last few times I've seen you , you have meade it clear that you don't like me anymore. Whatever I did to make you feel this way, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you in any way. I was only trying to show you how much you mean to me. I love you Delilah. You are the first woman who had really meant something to me. I have felt this way a long time. I knew if I ever told you how I felt, we would fall apart. Unfortunately, I was right. I can't stand the thought of youno longer being a part of my life. It seems that is now unavoidable. If this is really it for us, I beg you to blease tell me why. I need to know what I did to turn you against me like this. If there's anything I can do to fix our relationship, please let me know. If not, then I guess this is goodbye. I want you to know that if you should ever need anything, I will still be here for you. I am going to miss you. Goodbye Delilah. Ihope you will be able to forgive me someday. I cherishedour friendship while it lasted. I only wish it would have lasted a lot longer. Again I want to say I'm sorry. Goodbye.
Delilah,
Please don't throw this away without reading it. It will probably b the last time you hear from me. What went wrong between us? The last few times I've seen you , you have meade it clear that you don't like me anymore. Whatever I did to make you feel this way, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you in any way. I was only trying to show you how much you mean to me. I love you Delilah. You are the first woman who had really meant something to me. I have felt this way a long time. I knew if I ever told you how I felt, we would fall apart. Unfortunately, I was right. I can't stand the thought of youno longer being a part of my life. It seems that is now unavoidable. If this is really it for us, I beg you to blease tell me why. I need to know what I did to turn you against me like this. If there's anything I can do to fix our relationship, please let me know. If not, then I guess this is goodbye. I want you to know that if you should ever need anything, I will still be here for you. I am going to miss you. Goodbye Delilah. Ihope you will be able to forgive me someday. I cherishedour friendship while it lasted. I only wish it would have lasted a lot longer. Again I want to say I'm sorry. Goodbye.
September 22, 2005
Dear Delila & Jake,
After they "kidnapped" my rabbit family, they are holding them "hostage" until the "negotiations" and my "trial". How do I get "visitation rights"? I really do miss them all! Instead of coming home to "bouncing baby bunnies," there are only cold hard empty cages. It really is tearing me up inside. I keep calling the Humane Society, but no one answers the phone, or even returns my calls. Maybe you can do better on your computer. Please Try.
After they "kidnapped" my rabbit family, they are holding them "hostage" until the "negotiations" and my "trial". How do I get "visitation rights"? I really do miss them all! Instead of coming home to "bouncing baby bunnies," there are only cold hard empty cages. It really is tearing me up inside. I keep calling the Humane Society, but no one answers the phone, or even returns my calls. Maybe you can do better on your computer. Please Try.
Monday, September 26, 2005
November 12, 2000
This is a REAL letter. It is a good one. I wish you could see the drawings...but my scanner is already packed.
Delilah:
Hey there again! I'm terribly bored. I decided to write you. I really really enjoy writing letters. There is something so exciting about a blank piece of paper waiting to be filled with what ever I want to fill it with. Fun Fun Fun. You are probably that way about the telephone (and that is OK). Anyways I haven't heard form you in a while. I determined you were over due and decided to send this pre-emptive letter. Basically I chartedout the past incidences of our communications among probable outcomes into a matriz giving a zero-sum patter as this:
p(r)=p(5)(0)+p(4)1+(1-p)(2)1=4p-2+2p=6p-2
p(r)=p(5)1+(1-p)6=5p=6-6p=6-p
6p-2=6-p
5p=8
p=5/8
p1(0)=-2 p2(0)=6
p1(0)=4 p2(0)=5
Then plot to find maximini outcome assuming I want to maximize.
Then he mapped the coordinates using an x & y chart.
And then I integrate to find the area between the two curves as such (o,1)
((6-p+(6p+2))dx=(8-7p)dx=8p-7/2p=8-7/2=9/2
Finally I substituted this # into the summations which approximates the area of the orginal time graph (see last letter I sent you) as a 3-D representation. This of course is as such:
He wrote another equation using a bunch of math symbols I don't have readily ava. on my computer.
Today isn't the actual day, I adjusted 0.3567 hours for the shift in orbit of the earth as a result of the high rate in solar winds which cause time discrepencies, but almost negligable without a quantum computer and the avility to interate up to 800 decimal places given that one is considering a closed system as define by Newton and not the turbulent flow system as defined by strarkoutsy in his hyper-turbulent fluid dynamics theorem. You are probably considering a different set of variables. Anyways please write me or call me.
Sincerely,
D.S.
Delilah:
Hey there again! I'm terribly bored. I decided to write you. I really really enjoy writing letters. There is something so exciting about a blank piece of paper waiting to be filled with what ever I want to fill it with. Fun Fun Fun. You are probably that way about the telephone (and that is OK). Anyways I haven't heard form you in a while. I determined you were over due and decided to send this pre-emptive letter. Basically I chartedout the past incidences of our communications among probable outcomes into a matriz giving a zero-sum patter as this:
p(r)=p(5)(0)+p(4)1+(1-p)(2)1=4p-2+2p=6p-2
p(r)=p(5)1+(1-p)6=5p=6-6p=6-p
6p-2=6-p
5p=8
p=5/8
p1(0)=-2 p2(0)=6
p1(0)=4 p2(0)=5
Then plot to find maximini outcome assuming I want to maximize.
Then he mapped the coordinates using an x & y chart.
And then I integrate to find the area between the two curves as such (o,1)
((6-p+(6p+2))dx=(8-7p)dx=8p-7/2p=8-7/2=9/2
Finally I substituted this # into the summations which approximates the area of the orginal time graph (see last letter I sent you) as a 3-D representation. This of course is as such:
He wrote another equation using a bunch of math symbols I don't have readily ava. on my computer.
Today isn't the actual day, I adjusted 0.3567 hours for the shift in orbit of the earth as a result of the high rate in solar winds which cause time discrepencies, but almost negligable without a quantum computer and the avility to interate up to 800 decimal places given that one is considering a closed system as define by Newton and not the turbulent flow system as defined by strarkoutsy in his hyper-turbulent fluid dynamics theorem. You are probably considering a different set of variables. Anyways please write me or call me.
Sincerely,
D.S.
Sometime in Jan. '96
I wasn't planning to do this but here is a follow-up letter I came across today from the same boy I used to know.
Delilah,
It's 4:00 A.M. and I am very tired, but I can't sleep -suprise-. It's understandable, though.
After we got off the phone I called B. and told him about our breakup. He was sad, but he did a very good job just talking and getting me to laugh. B.T. is truely a wonderful man. I am exceptionally lucky to have him as a friend.
I want to thank you for letting me down so gently. Youwere very straight forward and honest. Now thta I think about it, those were the two things I liked about you very much. Perhaps sticking to your guns and being true to your feelings wasn't easy, as I kept asking you if you were sure, and telling you I didn't want to break up. This will keep it simple for hte both of us, though.
I am returning the tape you made, even though it was a gift. You see, while you were gone I would listen to it nearly every night and wonder if you were trying to tell me something with these songs. I guess I put too much into it, and now it carries too much emotion and meaning to have it lying about. Thank you though, it was a wonderful tape.
As far as us being friends, everything I told you still stands. I wish you understood more fully, but... I want you to know your every happy moment, your every sad moment will cause me pain, but I still will try to meet you half way, not because its immature not to, but because pain, along with fear must be faced. Through the pain I feel from past relationships is my most intense, perhaps that is al the more reason to face it.
I have to go now, I am sorry if the last paragraph upset you, but you must know.
Goodbye, D.L.
Delilah,
It's 4:00 A.M. and I am very tired, but I can't sleep -suprise-. It's understandable, though.
After we got off the phone I called B. and told him about our breakup. He was sad, but he did a very good job just talking and getting me to laugh. B.T. is truely a wonderful man. I am exceptionally lucky to have him as a friend.
I want to thank you for letting me down so gently. Youwere very straight forward and honest. Now thta I think about it, those were the two things I liked about you very much. Perhaps sticking to your guns and being true to your feelings wasn't easy, as I kept asking you if you were sure, and telling you I didn't want to break up. This will keep it simple for hte both of us, though.
I am returning the tape you made, even though it was a gift. You see, while you were gone I would listen to it nearly every night and wonder if you were trying to tell me something with these songs. I guess I put too much into it, and now it carries too much emotion and meaning to have it lying about. Thank you though, it was a wonderful tape.
As far as us being friends, everything I told you still stands. I wish you understood more fully, but... I want you to know your every happy moment, your every sad moment will cause me pain, but I still will try to meet you half way, not because its immature not to, but because pain, along with fear must be faced. Through the pain I feel from past relationships is my most intense, perhaps that is al the more reason to face it.
I have to go now, I am sorry if the last paragraph upset you, but you must know.
Goodbye, D.L.
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January 1, 1996
An old letter from this boy I used to know....
This letter has been building for a long time. Daily thoughts of writing this have come to me, always I put it off. Many times it was my prode that caused me not to write this. You see, since the night of the party when you spoke these words, "Sometimes I think you like me more than I like you." I have had a hard time dealing with this relationship.
My difficulties are rooted in not not knowing where we stand in relation to each other. We founded our relationship on an open agreement with no strict rules and a huge amount of trust in one another. This was ver beautiful, and worthy of us both. But now we are seperated by distance and time with only our ineria and our trust to keep us whole.
Ultimately I am a person who craves attention. Perhaps A. told you this. Without her, perhaps I never would have known. With this craving comes lonliness. Indeed lonliness and I are old friends, but it is not always so bad. Through lonliness I have learned to feel saddness, and loss, and love.
The purpose of this letter is not to beg for your attentions, or to warn or threaten you with my lonliness, but only to open up to you like I never have to anyone before. Doubt creeps into me about peeling my skin back in this way, to you now. The phrase I mentioned above, being the obvious instrument of my fear. With that phrase came the knowledge tha I was less to you than I thought, a terrible revelations. In deed I thought we were on the brink of something very fine and wonderful.
But do you remember discussing my beliefs on fear? How fear should never stop you from doing anything? That is something I must always try to incorporate into my life. It is not always wasy, and I do fail. I failed with L., I was scared and wouldn't fight. I wouln't have run, but I couln't bring myself to face him either. And so nw I am faced with another fearful choice to send you this, and with it a small piece of who I am, or to cower in fear.
My choice is made.
The last thing I have to say is- We are together by choice. To be where we are now...together. We both looked at the other and decided (somewhere) that the other was worthy. And we both took a chance. What this chance we took will come to, I don't know. But I do know, I am very glad to have taken it.
Delilah, I miss you very much.
D.L.
This letter has been building for a long time. Daily thoughts of writing this have come to me, always I put it off. Many times it was my prode that caused me not to write this. You see, since the night of the party when you spoke these words, "Sometimes I think you like me more than I like you." I have had a hard time dealing with this relationship.
My difficulties are rooted in not not knowing where we stand in relation to each other. We founded our relationship on an open agreement with no strict rules and a huge amount of trust in one another. This was ver beautiful, and worthy of us both. But now we are seperated by distance and time with only our ineria and our trust to keep us whole.
Ultimately I am a person who craves attention. Perhaps A. told you this. Without her, perhaps I never would have known. With this craving comes lonliness. Indeed lonliness and I are old friends, but it is not always so bad. Through lonliness I have learned to feel saddness, and loss, and love.
The purpose of this letter is not to beg for your attentions, or to warn or threaten you with my lonliness, but only to open up to you like I never have to anyone before. Doubt creeps into me about peeling my skin back in this way, to you now. The phrase I mentioned above, being the obvious instrument of my fear. With that phrase came the knowledge tha I was less to you than I thought, a terrible revelations. In deed I thought we were on the brink of something very fine and wonderful.
But do you remember discussing my beliefs on fear? How fear should never stop you from doing anything? That is something I must always try to incorporate into my life. It is not always wasy, and I do fail. I failed with L., I was scared and wouldn't fight. I wouln't have run, but I couln't bring myself to face him either. And so nw I am faced with another fearful choice to send you this, and with it a small piece of who I am, or to cower in fear.
My choice is made.
The last thing I have to say is- We are together by choice. To be where we are now...together. We both looked at the other and decided (somewhere) that the other was worthy. And we both took a chance. What this chance we took will come to, I don't know. But I do know, I am very glad to have taken it.
Delilah, I miss you very much.
D.L.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
November 1997
This letter was written on toilet paper and sent from a tent-living, tree hugging Artist in Colorado.
Howdy,
Howdy is a strange word. How is Ohio going this November. I hope the weather is not too depressing this time of year. I would always get sad in Oct, Nov due to the overcast skys and homogenus color of the ground. Sorry I haven't written in a while but I will write more. I've been busy getting ready for my season of riding on snow. I got my 5 mth pass so my recreation time is taken care of for 5 months. I'm at work right now and some strange dude walked into my office and asked me to read for him. He had this bottle of medicine and could not figure out his dosage. Why ME? Of course I declined to help him for I fear a lawsuit. So how is college life? Fun Fun Fun. I'm glad to hear you are going on a trip in December. That would be delightful if you came to Colorado to visit. How is everybody doing that I haven't heard from in a while; the Newly Weds, Big J. Stud, DJ S. and the state of Ohio. Work has been work. It seems I am always fixing another mans f*** up. That is what they call life. I want to comment to comment of the photos, and all that. I thought the xerox was a great way to send pictures. I'm sort of art starved lately. I miss all the tools fo creation I used to play with. I went to Vegas last week-end to see Primus and had a grand old time in the city of gluttuny. You simply must go if you ever have the chance. It's only 10 hours from here. I'd love to take the guys down there. That town has J.W. written all over it. I got wiped out on Black Jack the first night but won the second and bought my concert ticket with the winnings. Have I got the sloppy hand writing or what. Me, B. & F. took my car down to the city where the devil dwells. I swear he must live there, that's the reason it is so f****** hot. The food there is the best for two reasons 1. Prime Rib Buffet $2.99 2. There are at least 1000 deals like #1. I love to eat. I could eat all day. I tried to do three buffets in one day and was rendered useless. You see I have been eating and working out every night so I cannot eat enought. F. has got a tag to shoot an elk soon. That will be a cool 500 lbs. of meat to chew on so I won't have to b**** much longer. More and more tourists and skiers are coming to Summit County these days. They roll in their expensive recreation 4-wheel drive cares and are all decked out in there outdoor gear and can't even deal with a flat tire. How can you make $150,000 a year and not know how to light your gas furnace? No common sense. The uppper middle class of this country are controlled by men who are afraid of their pampered wives. The blind leading the blind. Ramble on young solider. I saw Starship Troopers and can honestly say it wan't bad for $4.00, for a sci-fi. Closing Thought. You Don't Have to Wash to Be Clean.
P.S. Don't wipe your a** with my art work.
R.M. '97
Howdy,
Howdy is a strange word. How is Ohio going this November. I hope the weather is not too depressing this time of year. I would always get sad in Oct, Nov due to the overcast skys and homogenus color of the ground. Sorry I haven't written in a while but I will write more. I've been busy getting ready for my season of riding on snow. I got my 5 mth pass so my recreation time is taken care of for 5 months. I'm at work right now and some strange dude walked into my office and asked me to read for him. He had this bottle of medicine and could not figure out his dosage. Why ME? Of course I declined to help him for I fear a lawsuit. So how is college life? Fun Fun Fun. I'm glad to hear you are going on a trip in December. That would be delightful if you came to Colorado to visit. How is everybody doing that I haven't heard from in a while; the Newly Weds, Big J. Stud, DJ S. and the state of Ohio. Work has been work. It seems I am always fixing another mans f*** up. That is what they call life. I want to comment to comment of the photos, and all that. I thought the xerox was a great way to send pictures. I'm sort of art starved lately. I miss all the tools fo creation I used to play with. I went to Vegas last week-end to see Primus and had a grand old time in the city of gluttuny. You simply must go if you ever have the chance. It's only 10 hours from here. I'd love to take the guys down there. That town has J.W. written all over it. I got wiped out on Black Jack the first night but won the second and bought my concert ticket with the winnings. Have I got the sloppy hand writing or what. Me, B. & F. took my car down to the city where the devil dwells. I swear he must live there, that's the reason it is so f****** hot. The food there is the best for two reasons 1. Prime Rib Buffet $2.99 2. There are at least 1000 deals like #1. I love to eat. I could eat all day. I tried to do three buffets in one day and was rendered useless. You see I have been eating and working out every night so I cannot eat enought. F. has got a tag to shoot an elk soon. That will be a cool 500 lbs. of meat to chew on so I won't have to b**** much longer. More and more tourists and skiers are coming to Summit County these days. They roll in their expensive recreation 4-wheel drive cares and are all decked out in there outdoor gear and can't even deal with a flat tire. How can you make $150,000 a year and not know how to light your gas furnace? No common sense. The uppper middle class of this country are controlled by men who are afraid of their pampered wives. The blind leading the blind. Ramble on young solider. I saw Starship Troopers and can honestly say it wan't bad for $4.00, for a sci-fi. Closing Thought. You Don't Have to Wash to Be Clean.
P.S. Don't wipe your a** with my art work.
R.M. '97
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